idk why but the season of winter makes me want to cuddle and make out.
Do you ever have those days where you think about someone out of the blue and find yourself looking through old messages? Do you ever end up trying to revive those memories and feelings you once had? You end up missing them, don’t you, but the next day, yOU FUCKING REALIZE YOU spent so much time and energy on whoever that person was AND YOU DONT know why BC THEY R SHIT.
But, then, again, I do.
Most of the people I used to talk to, I don’t even say a word to anymore. There are so many reasons why, and I’m the number one reason to blame. If you knew me, you’d know I hardly answer my texts, regardless of who you are, when I answer, I answer up to a day later, I don’t like starting the conversation, and to sum it all up, I can never keep a genuine conversation going. More and more people are starting to lose contact with me, and it’s because I choose for it to be that way. I don’t acknowledge them, so why should they acknowledge me? I apologize for that, if you’re reading this. Sometimes, I miss everyone I used to talk to. My best friends. My stupid loser “friends.” My own brother. My parents. My friends from school. Everyone. I guess I actually miss them. Whenever they talk to me, I make up all the excuses in my head, not to reply, and I hear these echoing voices holding me back, telling me to let the call or ring from a text go, and when I try to contact them, I hear nothing. Well, either nothing, or they reply, and I just never reply back, and I’m left at square one. So what do I do now?
You bite your tongue and delete that same text over and over again.
You’ll be so much happier, afterwards. Just stop noticing the things that the negative people throw out at you, when people that actually love you are, willingly, giving you nothing but care.
): Please don’t. You don’t know what might happen a year from now. What if you’re happier? What if you achieved something you never thought you would achieve? I hate those words, “I can’t do it.” You can do it. Would I be replying to this if I knew you couldn’t do it? You’re beautiful. I know it. You were put on this place for a reason. You see, a few years back, I was exactly like you. I thought no one cared about me, and I made up all these scenarios, in my head, of me out of everyone’s life. If I was out of your life, I wouldn’t be trying to stop you right now. I appreciate life so much, now. I’m not saying it got any easier, but as soon as I saw the good, it didn’t get any worse. “Before a rainbow, there’s a storm.” Basically, before anything good happens, there are going to be a few bumps on the road, and people will test you, but more people will care about you. You are loved. I love you(: Whoever you are, I hope you really listen. I would do anything to save your life. Every life should be valued. Remember, you’re alive for a reason. You’re a gift.
As I rushed into the coffee shop, I managed to steal a glimpse at your face. I couldn’t help but notice that you looked back too. I felt your eyes upon my presence, as a tingling feel went up my spine. That feeling you get when all the elation, fear, and hope rush into you at once. The feeling you get when it may be another shot at this painful yet beautiful emotion. I don’t know what to call it, exactly, because it sure as hell ain’t love. I can’t call it love because I really have no idea what it is. I didn’t know such a quick and short moment could cause me to think so much. All I can think about is you. Who are you?
What were you about to say when you approached me? How I wish I begged you stay, as I watched you walk out the door. You didn’t have to leave just because my mom came back. Now, I’ll never see you again. I’m left with this curious brain of mine, that won’t stop reliving and thinking of that moment.
So I went to Starbuck’s and there was this tall, mysterious guy. He was dressed in his Hollister sweater and blue jeans, and I couldn’t help but notice him staring at me. (At least I think he was staring at me). I guess I was staring at him too. It wasn’t that hard to notice. Who follows you inside “to get a drink” and then walks up to your table about to say something? He just stood there, and I tried to keep myself occupied on my phone, but I took a quick glance at him. There we were… staring at each other. Time stopped, but it wasn’t enough. This sounds so cliché. I know, but I felt something as we looked up at one another. It was like I felt love again. I’ll never know what he was about to say, for he left when my mom returned from the lavatory. So could it be love at first sight? All I can think about is you. I’ll never see you again, but it was nice to experience that longing, excitement, and butterfly feeling in my stomach again, after such a long time. Wow, this is so stupid. This is why I wanna stay single. SingleFahDaR3sTofDaLyfe, niggas.
I miss you so much. You don’t even know. Why did I let this happen? Only now am I realizing that I’m doing that same thing to my other best friends. I don’t wanna lose them too.
I know.. This is stupid, but as the end of the episode came about, I just couldn’t take what had happened . If something like that happened to me, I wouldn’t be able to go on. I felt like I could connect, and the tears just rolled down. I felt her pain. The song didn’t help my feelings either :P To find out that someone you love is now dead… It scares me to death. A friend brought up this topic a few days ago. So here’s the topic. Death. Some of us are afraid of it, and some of us aren’t, but we’re all afraid of our loved ones dying before we do. We know that we won’t be able to take it, but that’s the thing. We know that we won’t handle it very well, but we don’t know exactly how we’ll we handle it. I’m just afraid of you, Death, so stay away. Look how many people you’ve hurt.
I knew exactly who you were just a day ago, and all of sudden, you’re a completely different person, the next. Excuse me, no. At least give me a warning before you become so different. Why’d you even change? Here’s a tip. Don’t change just so you can please someone. The truth is that if someone genuinely likes you, they’ll like you for who you are. I, especially, hate it when you just change around me. You don’t ever have to change around me, but if you’re being fake, when it comes to others, and you show your true colors towards me, quit acting. I used to like you. So.. Who are you now?
Fuck you. I can’t wait for people to see the real you. Remember when you used to talk to me, before you became “all that?”
Stop, Breathe, then Think. Don’t just rush into things. You never know what will happen later.
-___- I hate when my brother asks me questions about what I post.
Why not? (: No matter who you are, even if I don’t necessarily like you, I’ll stick up for you whenever someone’s trying to put you down, especially if you tell someone to kill themselves. I don’t care if it’s a joke, you never say that. I know, I’ve said that before, but you don’t hear me saying that anymore. No one deserves to be put down. People have their flaws, they possess things others might not like, and they might not act like you want them too, but you shouldn’t try to hurt them. I know how it is to feel all alone, like no one cares. Like if someone told you to jump off a bridge, everyone would agree with them. I stick up for people because people are beautiful. I stick up for them because I’d want someone to stick up for me.
If someone says that they like you or something else to that affect, don’t ignore them. I hate how other people make it all awkward and avoid you. There’s no point in doing so. When someone says that they admire or like you, you should be flattered. You may not feel the same about the other person, but that gives you no right to stop replying to them. I learned the hard way. I did this to a friend, once, after I found out he liked me, and now, he won’t even speak to me. After all the work I put into ignoring him, I lost a friend I cared about. I know.. Sometimes, it’s weird finding about how someone else feels about you, but you shouldn’t treat them like they’re a stranger, all of a sudden. They might have not even liked you, in the first place. You just assumed.
After you ignore them, give yourself a pat on the back. You got what you probably wanted, and they won’t talk to you or like you anymore. You’re now considered a douche(: